Hopelessness…ending my life!

Sometimes you might reach a point in your life where you’ve had it.

You just want it to end. Life. You feel that nothing is good, nothing makes you happy. Nothing makes you excited and hopeful.

You seriously question why you are even living…like there is no point!!

And to end this pain, you want end your life.

The only thing that will make me feel better is if I get my mind of these thoughts.

And you know what, laughter also helps!

Why have these negative thoughts started to come?

I think it’s because, for some time, I’ve been trying to accomplish things, but I wasn’t accomplishing anything. So that’s one reason.

The other reason is that I felt irritated from the people around me. I felt like they were so unfair. Whenever I voiced my opinions they would get all defensive. I am not rude. I am just blunt! I used to always go with the flow. But I realized you won’t get anywhere in life if you don’t have a voice that shows YOUR viewpoints onĀ things. That’s why I’ve been trying to learn to be blunt and to skip the sweet talk because I feel that makes me deliver my points clearly and it sounds more professional at work.

This has been the first time that I’ve had suicidal thoughts. I didn’t know how to make these thoughts go away.

And I now know how it feels to have suicidal thoughts!

It really isn’t in your hands…these thoughts come up because when you look to the right you see problems and when you look to the left you see problems and negativity.

I remember I was begging God to remove these thoughts! I felt like I was suffocating physically and mentally.

Eventually these thoughts went away.

I was so scared of these thoughts that I wanted my mind to think of anything else. So after 15 minutes, I realized that the intensity was much lower.

I reflected as to why that was so.

I learned that when you have suicidal thoughts you have to get your mind of it so that you have a peace of mind. At this point it doesn’t matter why you are having these thoughts or who did you wrong. What matter is that you be mindful. And that’s what I did, I was mindful of what I was doing. At that time, I was picking flowers from a gardening shop to plant in our backyard. So I was aware and I acknowledged these thoughts were present.

The solution that I had taken was to get my mind off these thoughts…and so being mindful of my surroundings helped me a lot!

I am ever so thankful that I have learned this!

We always hear the importance of being mindful and living in the moment. Mindfulness/ living in the moment is especially important when you have negative thoughts or you are stressing about something. Because no matter how much you think about it, the only way it will be resolved is when you take action and not by rethinking the situation.

So please keep in mind, that whenever you have negative thoughts or you are stressing about things, remember to pause and to look at your surroundings. If you do this for 5 minutes your mind will be at rest.

Dear beautiful souls, I wish you nothing but happiness and peace of mind.

Love <3

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